june 14

today, looking out the window at my old elementary school i feel rain & overwhelmed. pigeons cooing that my grandmother tried to vanquish with a series of wooden poles & a broom ducttaped together. When she heard the pigeons, she'd rush out the door and try to prevent them from nesting in the roof, shoo them away, nudge their feathers to the ground. she loved doves though. maybe i will imagine these birds are doves.

i am spending my mornings researching the verse letters of john donne. many of them are poems he wrote to patrons and potential patrons. then after donne, i work on thesis revisions (like today), or short stories and poems. i am looking forward to sage hill, meeting new people and workshopping. it will be a bit nerveracking because i am shy in new situations but it is a familiar situation as well. an old place but new faces, maybe the perfect combination.

something absurd: trying to study basic math skills. i haven't done math for years and i thought when i finished highschool i was finished for good.. but now i find myself trying to learn pythagorean theorems, and how to multiply fractions, and find averages and ratios. I made an appointment for my GRE exam for grad school on June 27th. I guess I thought it would force myself to study, but now it seems really soon. something more absurd: a few mfa programs in the states actually require this exam for admission.

& I guess this is my way of saying i'm applying for mfa programs this fall. !