The Business of Art

Lately I've been feeling totally unenthused about sending out any writing to any journals whatsoever. I know there's a few that I wanted to send to as soon as September hit. But I just can't bring myself to write up the cover letters, choose poems, write out the envelopes... only to get them back a few months later.

I think a part of it is that whenever I get a rejection, usually the pieces I had sent out are so old that I don't know why I sent them out in the first place. I've noticed that for a lot of younger writers, our writing improves at an incredibly quick pace. With each workshop, retreat, or mentorship, our understanding of form and language improves so drastically that it can be hard to keep up. On the one hand, this makes things quite exciting. But on the other hand, it means I often hate everything I've written up to last week (or so).

I imagine things will mellow out as I get older and find my "voice," but right now my ideas about what makes a good story seems to change every week. And the poems I've written even last semester are no longer what I consider my finest work. So I guess it just feels pointless to send something out when I know I'm going to dislike it in a month anyway. It can be nice to let things sit in a drawer (or your computer's harddrive) for a while...

The other reason I haven't been sending things out is simply that I've been writing way too much, thinking of ideas for future stories, and working on a 15-pg story that I'm hoping will become my portfolio piece. I want each 5-page assignment to become a strong story that I can eventually send out to journals, as well. I'm actually so pleased with the page limits for the assignments. For the first time in my life, I'm forcing myself to write SHORT stories, and I think it's helping me discover what's truly necessary. (Now let's see if I can sustain this for 15 pages!)

When I went to Sage Hill a few years ago, I had only taken a few writing workshops and was full of doubt and uncertainty. I had the best talks with my instructor who not only believed I was a writer but had faith that I would be published one day. Since then, I've written with the belief that it's not a matter of "if" I become a writer, but simply "when" it happens for me: when I become published, and so on. This was the best advice and support I had ever received.

I had another good friend tell me that she believes there's a market out there for everything she's written, it's just a matter of finding the right fit. I think this is such good advice, because we so often forget how much luck is involved in publishing. I think that if you work hard, take workshops, revise your work, and are constantly reading and learning, it will only be a matter of time (and luck) before you get published. I try to keep this in mind, and it helps to take the pressure off.


(and sometimes you can feel grateful when you receive a rejection, thinking to yourself 'what possessed me to send this garbage out in the first place?!' ...just kidding. But I hope I can maintain this sense of "when, not if" even when things get tough)